| well i havnt posted in a long time and i thought i would do so...she gave me a new feeling tonight that i've never felt before but thats not a strange thing when it comes to her...she made me feel like i served a purpose in her life...which i guess shes always makes me feel that way but it was different tonight...she made me feel like i'm gonna accomplish somethin and not be in her shadow forever which it would be fine with me if i was...i'm so lucky to have someone thats as intelligent as her...peyton knows hes like a god |
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| well i'm in lbk tryin my hand at "growin up". seems harder to do when everyones constantly reminding you of all the things you've done wrong...me = a lot...i'm not retarded i know when i do something wrong...sorry i'm not as emotional as everyone seems to want me to be...dirka dirka |
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| ok heres the deal i'm so lost right now i dont even know....i dont know what i want...i dont know what i need to be happy...i dont think we're true anymore and it seems like we're together because we're scared...i know i am...which is crappy...but i'm not sure that was brought to my attention recently and it makes sense due to all the stuff thats been going on...i wish i could restart this year...so far it's been the worse year of my life and i'm tryin to think of ways to make it better but i cant think of anything...weeeeeeeee.....that was me sliding... |
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| I'M SO FUCKING PISSED OFF....i just spent 30 minutes writing the biggest most epic post i've ever written only to have it disappear when i try to select a book that i'm currently reading...WTF...well i'm gonna try again but i doubt it will be as good this time around...
i have an idea for my perfect world in which i would really really wish to live...a world where money was completely non existant and technology was warped back 1000 years...people wont control the government because there isn't one...chaos?? hell no there would be no cities...civilization would be built around little tiny villages...each village fends for itself...money would never be a factor...instead of wasting you're whole life bullshitting to get a little bit of money and having nothing better to look forward to than a paycheck...you would earn items of sastisfaction by exploiting your own personal skills...the skills that you enjoy exploiting...they dont even have to benefit anything just as long as it's obvious you enjoy doing what you're doing...battles would no longer be decided by who has a bigger wallet...they would be decided by the quickness of your sword or the amount of strength and precision you put behind the last swing of your Arcanite Reaper...communities wouldnt fall because they were poor...they would fall because they're pussies...I would give love a complete revamp...no more of this lust infatuation bullshit...it simply wouldnt exist...any love that existed would be 100% pure and if not there is a twist...
EXPLANATION OF LOVE REVAMP
When someone is born there is a glowing aura of some color around their head...almost angelic so it's not like it looks bad or anything...this aura will remain until you have found your perfect match...theres only a few...how will you know?? because they will have the same color aura as you...when you lock eyes with this person you're aura will be released and as will the other person's...they will collide and with an epic flash of light you will be warped back to the age of 12...therefore granting you a full life of memories...not having to worry about that someone cheating or tearing out your heart and throwing it into a meat grinder...it would be almost impossible to break their heart...love would dominate...and if somehow you do something to cause a very large amount of negative emotion in your partner...than a dragon will appear and slaughter you...not only you...but your partner as well....why is this?? because you killed them anyway...the way love should be...pure and brutal..
if anyone has an idea of their perfect world you should lemme know cause it's quite interesting hearing what people would do...you can find out things you never knew...theres more to my world but i'm going to stop for now because the odor of my own self is disrupting my thought process...shower time...peace
oh yea i forgot...this post is dedicated to CLINT KERR for making me laugh whenever he finds a religious flaw and i come to mind...oh yea and due to the mention of the Arcanite Reaper and the lover eating dragon |
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| ok i've gotta vent this so i'm coming here since it's convenient...
coming from a tender heart i'm not so much into tragic romances...i hate letting go but yea it's necessary sometimes...may happen again soon...it's all downhill from here *makes guitar noises*...but back on subject...you know cause you feel like dancing all the time when you think about her/him and it's different than anything else you've ever felt for another person....which makes me wonder if you could amplify those feelings if you found someone better...luck or fate i dunno...but i think i'll be in love whenever my dream of lying out in the hill country in the middle of no where under a tin roof listening to the rain fall down...and that beautiful blue eyed, fair skinned, dark haired country girl decides to join me...*sigh*
ok now to explain...my sister asked what for peoples different ideas of love...i of course try to be cute and funny cause that gets the most attention these days...well when i was around 13 years of age i developed this mental image of the perfect girl...she would be fair skinned, have blue eyes and dark hair...a country girl would top it all off...ok so my relationship with a girl that went on for somewhere around what 3 and half years came to an end a few minutes ago due to the fact that she doesnt meet these standards and i guess she thinks it's impossible to love anyone that doesnt meet them...this is where she would be mistaken...i would trade any girl that LOOKED like that for her any day of year any month any second...why would you do that shane? well probably because i've always thought she was more beautiful than any other girl i'd met...since the day i met her on rj's grandmas couch and she looked at me and i couldnt look her back in the eye because i was so intimidated...it was also brought to my attention that the only reason i love her is because i need her...thats a pathetic thing for any individual to do...well why do you love her then?? because she was unique and independent...i still to this day and i probably never will again meet someone that i could lay down a topic and debate it with her...(i still think thats cool)...she was so different than most girls instead of being all stupid and annoying as fuck as most girls seem to be...she always seemed more calm and sophisticated...she thought for herself...i could listen to her ideas for hours partly because the sound of her voice was very easy on the ears but also because i was in awe that a girl this young thought for herself and not for a trend...she was amazing in the fact that she was so responsible for not only herself but her little brother...she took care of that kid more than her mom did which always made me proud that she was mine....but wtf am i posting this for it will probably just make her hate me more so i'm going to stop...so was that comment really worth ending 3 years...i dunno...i dont really think it was but whatever...i posted in past tense because apparently all this stuff was forgotten and i write what was forgotten in past tense...got that?? kk...ur first love never dies...so it's safe to say that i love you |
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